When It Is Hard

Yes. God states it as a fact about Himself, not as a description of how it feels to us. He says: “When My servants ask you about Me, I am always near. I answer their prayers when they pray to Me.” [2:186] Read the order of it. I am always near comes first, before anything is asked of us. It does not depend on our sensing it. The nearness is put in physical terms that are hard to misread: “We created the human, and we know what he whispers to himself. We are closer to him than his jugular vein.” [50:16] None of that promises a feeling. God is honest that this is hard work: “You shall seek help through steadfastness and the Contact Prayers (Salat). This is difficult indeed, but not so for the reverent.” [2:45] The prayer is called difficult in the same breath as being recommended.

No. God addresses this directly, and His answer is not cautious. He says: “Proclaim: ‘O My servants who exceeded the limits, never despair of GOD's mercy. For GOD forgives all sins. He is the Forgiver, Most Merciful.’” [39:53] See who it is addressed to. Not the people who kept things tidy, but those who exceeded the limits. And see the scope: all sins. The condition is asking, not succeeding: “Anyone who commits evil, or wrongs his soul, then implores GOD for forgiveness, will find GOD Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [4:110] And look at how the righteous are described. They “fall in sin or wrong their souls”, then remember God and ask forgiveness, and “they do not persist in sins, knowingly” [3:135]. Falling is inside the description, not excluded from it. Coming back after the same failure for the twentieth time is the opposite of persisting.

No, and God puts the answer straight after the gravest list in the book. The passage names idol worship, killing and adultery, and says the retribution is doubled [25:68-69]. Then comes the next verse, which does not soften what came before. It overturns the outcome: “Exempted are those who repent, believe, and lead a righteous life. GOD transforms their sins into credits.” [25:70] Read that slowly. Not overlooked. Not merely forgiven. Transformed into credits, and placed immediately after that list. God does name a point where it is too late. Repentance offered when “death comes to them, then say, ‘Now I repent’” is not accepted [4:18]. The line is death, not a quantity of sin. Anyone able to ask this question is on the near side of it.

We do not know, and neither does anyone who says they do. God is direct that the judging is not ours: “To us is their ultimate return, then we will inform them of everything they had done. GOD is fully aware of the innermost thoughts.” [31:23] The innermost thoughts are exactly the part of a person we could not see. He is also direct that the guiding was never ours: “You cannot guide the ones you love. GOD is the only One who guides in accordance with His will.” [28:56] That was said to the Prophet, about someone he loved. If he could not secure it, the weight was never ours to carry. And grief is not a failure of faith. Jacob wept until his sight went, and he is not criticised for it anywhere in the passage. What he said was: “I simply complain to GOD about my dilemma and grief, for I know from GOD what you do not know.” [12:86] Taking grief to God, and not resolving it, is what a prophet did with his.

God does not treat this as an impertinent question, and He does not answer it with a platitude. First, the testing is expected: “Do the people think that they will be left to say, ‘We believe,’ without being put to the test?” [29:2] He names what the tests are made of: “some fear, hunger, and loss of money, lives, and crops” [2:155]. This is not a faith where hardship means something went wrong. Second, He says plainly that we cannot judge what is good for us: “you may dislike something which is good for you, and you may like something which is bad for you. GOD knows while you do not know.” [2:216] That is a statement about the limits of our view, and not a comfort. Third, He gives a response instead of an explanation: “We belong to GOD, and to Him we are returning.” [2:156] The verse after it calls those people guided. What God never does is give the reason for one particular affliction. Anyone who hands us a specific reason for our loss is offering something the scripture does not.

God promises a response. He does not promise the answer we asked for, and that difference is the whole of this question. He says: “Implore Me, and I will respond to you.” [40:60] And again: “I am always near. I answer their prayers when they pray to Me.” [2:186] Both say the response comes. Neither says the response is the thing we named. Sitting against that is the harder verse: “you may dislike something which is good for you, and you may like something which is bad for you.” [2:216] Held together, those say something uncomfortable. A prayer answered with no may be the answer, not the absence of one. That is not much help at year three of asking. So it is worth saying what the Quran models, and not only what it recommends. Jacob prayed for one thing until he went blind from grieving over it, and what he said was: “I simply complain to GOD about my dilemma and grief.” [12:86] He did not stop asking, and he did not pretend to be at peace.

It addresses this exact situation, and it refuses the choice we are being asked to make. On the belief: “If they try to force you to set up any idols beside Me, do not obey them. But continue to treat them amicably in this world.” [31:15] Both halves are in one verse. Do not obey them on the idols, and treat them well anyway. The duty to parents is not cancelled by disagreement about religion. God states it in the strongest terms He uses: never say “Uff” to them, never shout at them, treat them amicably, and “lower for them the wings of humility, and kindness” [17:23-24]. Nothing there depends on the parents sharing our belief. On everyone else, the line God draws is about aggression, not disagreement: “GOD does not enjoin you from befriending those who do not fight you because of religion... You may befriend them and be equitable towards them.” [60:8] What He does not give us is a way to make them accept it. “You cannot guide the ones you love.” [28:56] The silence may not be ours to fix, and the Quran does not pretend otherwise.

Doubting what we inherited is the first thing the Quran asks of us, not a crisis of faith. God treats inherited belief as a failure, not a foundation: “We follow only what we found our parents doing.” “What if their parents did not understand, and were not guided?” [2:170] That last line is the whole challenge. It is not a stray verse. He describes the same answer coming back from the leaders of every community a warner was ever sent to [43:23]. And He puts the responsibility on us, in terms that leave no room for deferring to anyone: “You shall not accept any information, unless you verify it for yourself. I have given you the hearing, the eyesight, and the brain, and you are responsible for using them.” [17:36] The standard He sets for a claim is evidence: “Show us your proof, if you are right.” [2:111] That applies to this site as much as to anyone who taught us anything. The next step is not to settle the feeling but to check the claims, one at a time.

Feeling is not the measure, and God never uses it as one. He does describe what belief can feel like. Hearts that tremble when He is mentioned, and hearts that rejoice in remembering Him [8:2]. But He never sets those as the test of whether we have it. He is also plain that this is hard: “You shall seek help through steadfastness and the Contact Prayers (Salat). This is difficult indeed, but not so for the reverent.” [2:45] Difficult indeed is a description of the practice, not a sign of doing it wrong. And the human default is stated without flattery: “Indeed, the human being is anxious.” [70:19] The exemption a few lines later goes to the worshipers “Who always observe their contact prayers (Salat)” [70:23]. The relief is attached to continuing, not to feeling. So keep going while it is dry. A prayer kept when nothing is felt is closer to what 2:45 describes than one kept on a good day.

God names this as the ordinary human condition, not a spiritual failure: “Indeed, the human being is anxious.” [70:19] It is a change in what we are responsible for, and not a promise that things will go well. He says: “Nothing happens to you except in accordance with GOD's will. Anyone who believes in GOD, He will guide his heart.” [64:11] Read the second half, because it is the part people skip. The promise attached is about the heart, not about the outcome. He says everything was recorded before the creation, and then gives the instruction that follows from it: “you should not grieve over anything you miss, nor be proud of anything He has bestowed upon you” [57:22-23]. Not grieving what we missed and not boasting about what we were given are the same instruction, which says something about how little of it was ever ours to control. And remembrance is always available. It is an activity, not a mood, and it can be done at three in the morning when nothing else is open [13:28].